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I don’t swear. Never really have. Sure, back in high school I dropped the occasional f-bomb and assorted profanities, but these days you’d never hear anything like that spring from my civilized lexicon. Why? Well, for one, I was raised in an environment of sensible discourse where the profane was reproached. Second, it repulses me. Third, because of a clear biblical mandate not to. The first two are relatively self-explanatory and will be touched upon, the third, for most, not so much. So, allow me to expatiate. I’m a Christian. This means I believe the bible makes sense. Not purely because it was God-inspired, although that’s true, but because it works. The words and deliberations of God weren’t some arbitrarily defined law for law’s sake. This would be senseless, aimless ascendency.
Here’s the thing. They aren’t rules, they’re answers. I’ve never followed a biblical instruction and walked away feeling like I had made a bad decision. You see, true freedom is not liberty from God’s law, but liberty in God’s law. God promises not bondage, but life in all its fullness, which means that within the law we find the fulfillment of God’s ultimate purpose: love. True freedom is not simply the ability to choose, but the power (by virtue of the Holy Spirit) to keep God’s commands and be free from the bondage of pain and suffering caused by the distortion and perversion of what was intended for an edifying and honourable purpose. So lets explore that within the context of language.
Some people disagree on my stance towards the F-Word. I’ve been accused from time to time of being what some would refer to as too “black and white.” There’s right, and there’s wrong. The grey area doesn’t exist. As much as I’d like to defend those accusations, I’d have to admit that I’m guilty of such logic every so often. When it comes to swearing, people seem to drown in a sea of grey. Here are the problems that present themselves: What is offensive language? Who decides what is and isn’t swearing? Also, is it not the intention rather than the word that matters?
Those who are a little more liberal when it comes to the use of potentially offensive language, make two key arguments. Firstly, that cuss words are not clearly defined and are in a constant state of flux. The meaning of words are socially constructed, so what was considered offensive 20 years ago is now a more commonly acceptable colloquialism and vice versa. Second, that it is the intention behind the use of the word and not the word itself that is offensive, which according to this logic, subsequently makes the use of euphemisms such as crap or dang just as offensive as s#%t or f@$k.
Lets deal with the first contention. True, words change over time, so it’s hard to clearly define a cuss word. In addition, some words are considered offensive by others, and some not. So what is a cuss word? Is it not just an arbitrarily defined word that culture deems offensive at a particular point in history? Firstly, if any word by nature, according to its technical definition, is offensive, then its taboo. Sl*t for instance, is a perfect example.
We are however, left with the problem of the use of words whose technical definition is not, by nature, offensive, but is considered by culture or society to be offensive, e.g. F*ck. Words like these, whose literal definitions are far removed from their cultural definitions are red herrings. Just because culture defines them as offensive, doesn’t mean they are. Culture defines a lot of things in ways that stand opposed to my values, and I don’t for a second accept all those particular definitions.
This leads onto the second contention, the concept of motive. This is where it gets interesting. For some people, its never about the word, its always about the intention and emotion behind the use of it. I agree, but only to a certain extent. The biblical instruction on cuss words is all about the intention of the heart. It’s not about correcting your language, it’s about changing your character. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The verses therefore deal with the idea that God works from the inside out to change and transform you.
The biblical instruction therefore is not so much about the words themselves, but the emotion through which the words are expressed. Again, this is all about love. Love is always doing what is in the best interests of the other. It is about conforming yourself to the image of Christ, about a selfless sacrifice of love to our neighbour, and in that you find great joy. So, am I saying that you can say any word as long as it is with the right heart motive? No. This is the point of disagreement with this side. Why? Because, back to the first contention, some people simply find certain words offensive, which means it would not be an act of love to use such language in the presence of others.
So, whether or not it is justified to be offended by a word whose definition is not technically offensive, is completely beside the point. The point is, if someone is offended by it, don’t do it (within reason of course). This is love. This is where the transformation of the heart takes place. This is the intent of the scriptures. It is always about the process of moulding you into a kinder, more selfless, more considerate, more humble you, and for that to become manifest in your speech.
What about euphemisms such as crap or dang? Well, it doesn’t really matter if you say “flower”, if it is an expression of unjustified anger or callous emotional outrage, then it’s the same unhealthy motive, albeit without the offensive word. Just a side-note, anger is not always bad, for instance, “righteous indignation” is fine, it is an energetic and passionate motivator. Jesus got angry at injustice, and so can we. All this brings me back to my original point: the biblical instruction makes sense. Instead of offending others, you are learning to respect them with words that are uplifting and edifying rather than offensive and destructive. In the process, your character is transformed.
Everything aside. When a member of the opposite sex drops an f-bomb, I can think of very few things that are bigger turn offs. Words are beautiful. The spoken word is the avenue through which our thoughts become articulated, the instrument through which we can coherently and eloquently enunciate and postulate the deepest recesses of our imagination. Why cheapen and pervert such a beautiful language with vulgar vernacular and crude colloquialisms?
Ok, lets paint a scene here.
1) Society has no real reason for maligning a word like f*ck (censored with love on your behalf). Aside from use in aggression or to cause hurt it’s a widely used, versatile word, capable of expressing many emotions succinctly.
2) Your motive is pure, non aggressive, and jovial.
3) I am not in any way offended by swearing.
Given the above is true, you can swear in my company, right? And given in particular that society has no real basis in declaring many words profane, then you being turned off by a swearing member of the opposite sex is simply hangover of society’s inane prejudice. Don’t do yourself that disservice.
You’re right, words are beautiful, all of them when used appropriately… has Shakespeare’s reputation as a genius composer of words suffered for flirting with the ‘c-word’? Not in the slightest.
You’ve really missed the mark with this one Maxwell. Good effort though.
Cant help but notice there’s not one bible verse to back up anything you’ve said.
Thanks for the comments Dan, that was actually the one hypothetical situation I noticed that seemed to be grey. The only answer I have is that I’m not sure this situation can be taken out of context, which means within a social context, all kinds of motives are enmeshed within it. That said, its still a grey area.
Ryno, I haven’t referenced the verses I’ve used, but there’s verses all through this thing. “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” for one example. Explain your position on how I’ve “missed the mark.”
My Mum didn’t let me swear.
She used to smack me with a hair brush or a wooden spoon.
She used to say “He who swears isn’t intelligent enough to say anything else”.
Whether her views and tactics were rite or wrong, I still swore my head off until I became a Christian. I also know plenty of people way smarter than me who swear alot.
After I became a Christian, I stopped swearing. No one really asked me to, I just stopped. Sometimes I wanted to swear but microseconds before the word was about to come out I decided not to. Swearing has just always felt wrong as a Christian. I believe that’s God in me leading, guiding and teaching me.
I’m sure there are words I say that people would consider swearing and We can debate heart motives and contexts etc. I just don’t want to swear so I don’t mind sacrificing a few words from my vocab to avoid be offensive and keep certain people happy. If at some point the words “and”, “if” or “the” become naughty I may have to rethink my policy.